Forget everything you know about Greek Mythology when you go and watch this film.
King Hyperion ( Rourke) is on the loose. He has lost his wife and child and he is on a war against not only his fellow humans but the gods as well. His plan? Get the legendary Epirus Bow forged by Ares and free the titans. Mother loving Theseus has been living his life being mentored by the Old Man (Hurt). Little did he know it was actually the disguise of Zeus (Evans) who has favored him for the war against Hyperion. Life takes a dark turn for Theseus when his mother, Aethra (Jones) is murdered in front of him by Hyperion. With the help of the Oracle A.K.A Phaedra (Pinto), The Monk (Bryk), Starvros (Dorff) and Darieos (Sprang) Theseus finds the bow, battles Hyperion and then dies in the battle against good and evil. Don’t worry the gods bless him with a son birthed by Phaedra. The End.
What the heck did I just watch. I checked out after the first beheading. This movie was not what I signed up for. I could see where they wanted to go but they never got there. It may have been shot in a pretty way but some of the costumes (Poseidon headdress and robe length) were disturbing. I need actors to stand up for themselves sometimes. I’m looking at you Kellan! there was just so much wrong that I don’t know where to start. Sunshine and I had a good conversation that we should have recorded about our dislikes but this brief synopsis will have to do. I love Greek Mythology and this movie was not a good interpretation of anything. They should have just made up everything instead of using Greek Mythos for source material. If this is what you have Hollywood then you better be making all of the Percy Jackson books because the first film wasn’t as bad as this but it wasn’t good either! I give this film 1/ 5 Epirus Bows. Skip It until you can watch on your own time at home.
Sunshine’s Thoughts: I am with Liz on this being one of the biggest wastes of time at a movie. It is beautifully shot, I will give it that, but that is all it has going for it. The storyline is choppy to non-existent, the “Greek Mythology” is non-existent (essentially the only part they got right were the names), and the fighting has been done before and better. In fact the whole movie has been done before and better, and that is ultimately the downfall of this movie–you have seen it all before and you probably enjoyed it. I give this film 1/5 Epirus Bows. Wait for TBS to start playing this one.