All right Gleeks, Glee is back, here is what you got to hear last night:
- We Got the Beat– performed by New Directions
- Ding Dong the Witch is Dead — performed by Kurt and Rachel
- It’s Not Unusual — performed by Blaine
- You Can’t Stop the Beat — New Directions
Welcome back Gleeks! If you have missed dropped story lines, weird character turns, and revisionist history then you have come to the right place! Trouty Mouth is gone ya’ll, despite his budding relationship with Mercedes last season we have moved on. According to Mercedes he has moved away due his fathers work, but don’t worry cause now she is dating one of the football players who used to torment her. And guess what — Glee Club needs new members! Now, I know what your thinking, we did this at the beginning of last season, the club performed all around campus trying to entice people to join up, but you would be wrong. You would be wrong mainly because Glee has made Trouty Mouth and Sunshing disappear like they never existed, and also because last year they did not have purple pianos!
This year some rich guy donated a bunch of purple pianos taken from repossessed homes, apparently when you have money you buy purple pianos. Mr. Schue is going to place these pianos throughout the school and our kids are going to put on random performances and convince kids that singing can be there life too. The only flaw to this plan is Sue Sylvester. Sue has decided that after being kind for one day she has had enough and goes on a rampage to destroy the pianos and the arts in general. She recruits Santana to help her destroy the pianos and the clubs hopes.
Despite this evil plan brewing, not all is lost. The kids pull off a lunch room performance of We Got the Beat with a purple piano (that looks interestingly enough like that J.C. Penny commercial from a few years back when the kids put on a classroom fashion show) and are immediately attacked with food. Anyway, Blaine has returned and he has returned to McKinley High! I’m not going to lie, Blaine is perhaps the single most annoying character on TV to me, so when I see him I immediately get annoyed. Tonight it did not help that he was wearing those ridiculous yellow sunglasses, red highwaters, and loafers with no socks—gag. But anyway, he’s back and even more permanently than before. After he carries us through a little Tom Jones, Sue’s plan goes into action. Santana apparently covered his purple piano in gasoline, cause once Quinn (now a goth/outsider/skank) flicks her cigarette on it the whole thing goes up in flames.
Now all the purple pianos are destroyed, but this can only mean one thing–time for an inspirational speech from Mr. Schue! He lets the kids know that they are just like the pianos; attacked, abused, and broken; but they can still make music—cue Lea Michelle. Rachel leads us in a heartwarming rendition of You Can’t Stop the Beat.
So that was it kids, your first episode of the new Glee season, what did you all think? Is Mr. Schue getting any from Emma? Do you really think Rachel is a big enough moron to not check to see if Juliard had a musical theater program? Did you think that Quinn dressed as a “skank” looks kind of like Molly Ringwald from Pretty In Pink?