America’s Next Top Model: All Star edition premiered last night and there really wasn’t much to it. You, like me, will probably remember most of the girls so you would not be shocked to find they are divas, they know they are divas, and they don’t care what anyone thinks of them. What might suprise you is that they all claim to be extremely successful at modeling! Almost all of them say they have been signed with a top agency, work domestically and internationally, have done commercials and print ads, and Lisa D’amato has even recorded her first album! Of course, for me anyway, that begs the question, what the hell are they doing here? IF everyone is so successful how in the world do they have time to be here. But this ANTM, so I guess I just have to set a aside my disbelief and share with you the only truly important things we learned last night:
- Nigel Barker has hair!
- Tyra has a new word = booty tooch. Seriously.
- Brittany Brower from Cycle 13 went home because no one remembered her, despite being the “party girl”.
- Nicki Minaj slips in and out of the most random accents ever. I think I counted three.
- Isis has no more man bits, so of course she poses in a bikini and everyone loves it.
- I’m pretty sure Tyra and company are unclear on what an “all star” is, they simply chose the biggest, weirdest, or most annoying personalities from past seasons.
- Tuning in regularly is not necessary, I can already tell you there will be fighting, crying, and a little modeling. However, if you have nothing else to watch on Wednesday night then this will be mildly entertaining!